Getting unstuck

COVID has given me a lot of time to think. I have heard it said before that life likes stasis. That is why it is ultimately hard to make any kind of positive change in your life. Life itself is against you. When you take two steps forward and then get blown a step or two or three back, it is because life likes the consistency of where you are being where you stay.

I don’t know if that is true. I do know how certain things affect me psychologically more than others. I tried attacking some things from the direction that the world told me would solve my problems. I did well in school. I did not so well in school. I dated the unpopular guy. I dated the popular guy. I have gone up and down the scale. I have been on stages in front of people cheering. I’ve been popular at parties thrown by the coolest band in town. I’ve dated musicians and computer geniuses and everything in between. I’ve been semi-dedicated at work and ultra-dedicated. All the stops in between, all along the way.

I keep somehow circling back to the same points over and over again.

So now, I’m doing something else. I’m slowly redoing my house. Little by little. Some paint here, a faucet there. I’m only one person and my expertise is pretty limited to the minor kinds of repairs that you can figure out from a few youtube videos and what I have seen my father do in the past. I don’t know why I think this direction is going to ultimately be a fruitful one, but we’ll see.