Why do people argue the unresolvable?
Why can’t people admit that they are on different ground rather the same and just be okay with it?
I’m talking specifically about the arguments I observe (as opposed to participate in) over religion. People push one set of values presented in a religion over another and the comment thread or discussion goes on and on and no resolution is ever reached, just endless cycles of blah-de-blah-blah about what someone should believe but it also says this other thing that another person thinks is “more equal” in the religious viewpoint. You aren’t a REAL (insert religion here) unless you believe THIS. Then someone else chimes in and
People push one set of values presented in a religion over another and the comment thread or discussion goes on and on and no resolution is ever reached, just endless cycles of blah-de-blah-blah about what someone should believe but it also says this other thing that another person thinks is “more equal” in the religious viewpoint.
Maybe you aren’t the same religion after all. Why is that hard to accept about one another rather than arguing a theological debate? Why do you feel an obligation to justify yourselves to one another?
Why? Why spend time on it?
There are people who are in love with religion for its ability to bring judgment. There are people who are in love with religion because it might bring order to the universe, they tend to like having rules dictated to them, even if those rules hurt them personally. There are people who are in love with religion because they think of it in a lovey-happy way– people who espouse the ideas of mercy and forgiveness and ideal, eternal love.
These people are different people. They believe different things. No matter what religion you are in, these people are going to have a different set of beliefs. If they had been raised in a different culture, the temperature of their religious belief would largely be unchanged. They are, in a way, worshipping something inherently different within the religion, and will find a different set of outcomes rewarding to their sense of spirituality. You can argue each other’s wrongness into the ground or next Tuesday but it won’t actually change anyone’s mind and it won’t matter to them. They will keep justifying whatever it is to themselves anyway.
I vote everyone stops.
I am going to suggest a new tactic for comment sections and family reunions the world over.
Stop. Just stop. Put a stop to wasting your precious time and frazzling your mind over it and finding justifications for this beleif and that one.
Regardless of what religion you participate in, how different would your life be, if—
Instead of saying “Yes, I believe this, but my interpretation…” or “What that really means in the original language is.. “ – what if, instead you just looked someone in the eye and casually said,
“Yeah. No. I don’t believe that part. I believe parts X-Y. Can you pass the Ketchup?”
Can you imagine the reaction if you chose to opt out of the discussion instead of launching into a black hole of endless unresolved debate on your opinions of theology or the verb endings of languages you have never personally studied? Wouldn’t that make life BETTER? Just to stop?
Wouldn’t it be better not to discuss what a REEAAAALLLY REAL (fill in the blank) believes?
Why can’t that be the answer? Why shouldn’t it be?
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your thought processes. Not a single person. They don’t owe you an explanation for theirs. The problem is the endless justifying and verse-grabbing and historical veracity ad nauseum, because it is eating up precious seconds of your life without an end in sight.
You can pick and choose what you want to believe. You can tell people to screw off if they don’t like it. But that requires you owning what you actually believe. You have to stop saying, “I know its wrong buuuuuuuutttttt…. ” and just own that you don’t actually believe that bit of something. It requires you to stop finding some vague verb tense only 3% of people majoring in dead and nearly -dead languages to determine what it “really means”. It requires you to say, “I believe in the ten commandments, but I gotta tell you, I think the beatitudes are hogwash. That hippie love crap is just annoying.” Or the reverse. Whatever is true for you. Own your current reality based on your actual life.
I’m telling you- go ahead. It’s okay. I don’t care if you do. But you all need to start owning where you are and being honest with yourself. All you are doing otherwise is spending giant chunks of your life arguing over something you can’t resolve. Who on earth would ever want to do that? Why?
And who are you trying so hard to convince with that smidgen of information or vehement insistence? Yourself? If you have to fight that hard to justify something, no matter what it is, that’s usually a sign of a problem.
Is it hard to own your own mind?
Are we scared to know that instead of a few value systems there are infinite value systems, one per person, and we cannot legislate the mind?
Try it. I dare you, religious peeps of various types—when someone gets all whatever and starts telling you what you believe, what this book says or that, respond with, “Yeah, I don’t believe that part.” even if you do. Take a look at their reaction. Savor the moment you decided other people’s demands on your spirituality no longer were a thing for you.
What if, the next time someone tells you that you aren’t a “real (fill in the blank),” instead of getting angry or self-defensive– you just say, “yeah, I know” very nonchalantly and punctuate it by walking off to buy ice cream?
Endless debates on where the emphasis in religions should fall are a waste of your precious years on this earth. Time you can NEVER GET BACK. EVER. When the time is gone, it is GONE. GONE GONE. Time you could have spent watching the sunset. Remembering the names of the constellations overhead. Feeling a summer breeze. Making snowmen.
Life is short. Too short. Don’t waste it debating the unresolvable just because you think you must. Definitely, don’t do it because some clown is demanding answers out of you. Your life isn’t about everyone’ else’s opinion. It’s far too short to be.